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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart."
By Jonathan Swift
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"A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence."
By G.K. Chesterton
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"An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country."
By Sir Henry Wotton
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"A communist is a person who publicly airs his dirty Lenin."
By Jack Pomeroy
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"Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake, one of them keeps paying for it."
By Peggy Joyce
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"Any ordinary man can...surround himself with two thousand books...and thenceforward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy."
By Augustine Birrell
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"A good listener is usually thinking about something else."
By Kin Hubbard
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"America: the only country in the world where failing to promote yourself is regarded as being arrogant."
By Garry Trudeau
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"Autobiography is an unrivalled vehicle for telling the truth about other people."
By Philip Guedalla
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"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."
By Patricia Neal
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined."
By Samuel Goldwyn
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"A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home."
By James Thurber
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"A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog."
By Jack London
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"Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse."
By Arthur Baer
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"A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services."
By Daniel J. Boorstin
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"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."
By Mark Twain, Letter to Mrs Foote, Dec. 2, 1887
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"As an anti-American, I thank you for your rotten article devoted to my person."
By Prince Sihanouk in a letter to Time magazine
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"A painter should not paint what he sees but what should be seen."
By Paul Valery
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"All professions are conspiracies against the laity."
By George Bernard Shaw
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"Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies."
By Ed Howe
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