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Quotes by Will Rogers

"Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects."
By Will Rogers
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"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
By Will Rogers
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself."
By Will Rogers
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"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
By Will Rogers
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"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat."
By Will Rogers
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"On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."
By Will Rogers
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"People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible."
By Will Rogers
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"Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison."
By Will Rogers
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"Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals."
By Will Rogers
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"Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U.S. senators."
By Will Rogers
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
By Will Rogers
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"There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators."
By Will Rogers
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"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
By Will Rogers
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"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."
By Will Rogers
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip."
By Will Rogers
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"There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators."
By Will Rogers
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"We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can."
By Will Rogers
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"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat."
By Will Rogers
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"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."
By Will Rogers
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"I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up."
By Will Rogers
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip."
By Will Rogers
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"The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them."
By Will Rogers
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"If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week."
By Will Rogers
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"An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh."
By Will Rogers
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"Well, all I know is what I read in the papers."
By Will Rogers
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